I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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