I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
