it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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