There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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