good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
