why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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