They should really pass out barf bags in church
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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