you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
