Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
