I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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