Porn is love you can see.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize