i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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