it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
