then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize