i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
