You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
