i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
