Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize