u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
