Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
