oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
