eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
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