I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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