I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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