I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
