dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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