I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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