I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
