i don't like sucking hair
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
