i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
