I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
