I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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