he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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