Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
