she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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