Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
So vagazzling was a success
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
