hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize