we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
