And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
