mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
