So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
