Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize