I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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