Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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