this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
