just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize