the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
