Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
