I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
This show inspires me to have sex in space
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
