Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
