You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
