woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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