do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize