It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize