I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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