You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
