Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
