Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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