i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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