I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
