One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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