I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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