Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
