idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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