theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
So apparently I’m into choking now
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
