I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
