margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
