He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
