Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
