Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
