Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
