I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
