it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
