Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize