I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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