its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
